"Bridezilla"

What a concerning development of our society that such a term even exists.

I know it's supposed to be comical or something, but I'm not laughing.

(Now, let me preface this by saying that while I don't necessarily believe in the concept of marriage, I know that it's a deeply rooted social norm and a common occurrence in many cultures.)

Forgive me if I've missed something, but I thought marriage was about making two people's love for one another officially permanent and recognized by their friends, family, and the state. I thought it was about undying love and devotion. Apparently not.

Apparently it's about $10,000 dresses, custom-made invitations, DJs, and the "perfect" ceremony. Among other things.

Thanks to reality TV and the internet, I have been exposed to many "bridezillas", as well as "normal" brides. Honestly, even though the former is more extreme, the latter is just as bad in many respects. Here are some questions I've been pondering:

1) Why must weddings be so stressful and time-consuming?!
2) Why must so much money be spent on something so ridiculous?!
3) Why do so many women demand expensive, real-diamond, engagement rings?!
4) Why do so many women obsess about losing weight so they can be "beautiful" on their wedding day?!
5) Why is it important if the bridesmaids have different hair styles?!
6) Why are blatantly offensive and patriarchal customs still used to this day?!

I have more questions, obviously, but I'll limit myself.

1) I don't understand people planning their wedding years in advance, obsessing over every little detail, and not being satisfied unless everything is PERFECT. Life isn't fair, shit happens, etc. If your bridesmaids's shoes aren't perfectly matched to their dress, the world will not stop turning, and you will still get married (I thought this was the objective).
2) Unless Rumpelstiltskin has personally spun my dress out of gold, I am NOT paying $10,000 for it. Jesus. I'd just as soon make my own dress, and not in white, mind you.
3) If a man ever gave me real diamonds, I would break up with him. Because that would show that he didn't know me at all. Ethics aside, expensive gifts in exchange for marriage vows just smacks of "dowry".
4) There's a reality show about this. The promotions I've seen for it are appalling. Because it's just that important that you lose 10 pounds for one day. It's not like your fiancee won't love you, 10 pounds less or not. Clearly, if he's agreed to spend the rest of his life with you and you alone, he better be ok with whatever happens to your body in the future. Plus, he thinks you're hot as is, sans-makeup and control-top pantyhose, otherwise he wouldn't be marrying you. Also, ordering an exorbitantly expensive dress for "the most important day of your life" 2 sizes too small as "motivation" is just asking for trouble.
5) You'll live if your Maid of Honor whacks all of her hair off the day before the wedding.
6) White dresses, while traditional and quite beautiful (at times), symbolize everything I despise about the implications of virginal brides. I don't qualify, nor do most women who get married today, and yet they still wear white. While the custom of wearing white initially came from people copying Queen Victoria's white wedding dress, it has now come to mean that your hymen is still intact. Which is nobody's business and shouldn't be a factor in why your prospective husband wants you, but I digress. Veils as well are irritating. Talk about sexual innuendo. And while I love my dad, and he's kickass, I will not have him "give me away". My decisions, and my life are my own. I would hope that he would like who I was marrying, but who I decide to spend the rest of my life with is not his choice to make.

Regardless of intentions, these traditions are arcane and oppressive.

I just don't understand it.

Personally, I have no idea if I'll ever get married, and honestly, I don't really care. If I love someone enough to be with them FOREVER, I don't really need a piece of paper to do just that. It's legally advantageous, certainly, but I'd hate for that to be a motivator. My immediate family is fairly untraditional, but my extended family certainly is not. If I were to live with a partner forever without marrying him, I'd be living in sin. Not that I care, but it's not something I'd want to discuss over Thanksgiving.

I suppose I wouldn't mind getting married. I'm just not hell-bent on making it happen. I wouldn't want one of these flashy, expensive affairs with everyone and their mother in attendance. I wouldn't want to send invitations for fear of wasting paper. I wouldn't want to make it some circus where I'm the center of attention. That's what it is, ultimately. Bridezillas are simply narcissists who take advantage of what is supposed to be a fun but reverent event (in my opinion, anyway) to draw all of the attention to herself for a day. How irritating.

My parents got married in a public park. They paid the preacher and a guitar player. My mom bought a new (blue) dress, and my dad wore short sleeves and a bowtie. My mom's engagement ring was a family heirloom that originally was my great-grandmother's engagement ring. There were probably 20 people in attendance (if that). Now, eventually they got divorced, but that really isn't the point.

I just don't understand why it's such a folderol, I guess. Just get married.